As expected, whenever close season comes around, the laptop loyal sharpen their pencils and prepare themselves to gush about the new signings, whoever they may be, over at Ibrox.

Last season, it was the ‘capture’ of Championship Player of the Year Joey Barton, who was going to take the Premiership by storm, accompanied by Croatian Nico Kranjcar and ex-Arsenal stalwart Phillipe Senderos.

They were, of course, going to superbly managed by the Manager of the Year, the one and only Mark Warburton, who to quote some scribes had Sevco playing like Barcelona at times!

A bit closer inspection would have shown that Barton, while a decent player was a nutter of huge proportions, and likely to explode at any time. Like his chairman, he’s no stranger to the law. Then we have Nico, played about a dozen games in two years, as we saw in the first 5-1 Derby game, where he was blowing out of his arse after 20 minutes.

Not far behind him, and another who didn’t last the 90 minutes, was big bad Phillipe. Straight from the building site and onto the training pitch.

The manager, who had the Gullibears wearing bread packets to the games, didn’t last much longer. Seems playing teams with full time players every week can be quite hard for a tactical genius.

All hailed by the sycophantic media as potential champions. Hopeless is being too kind.

This year, we have a new man in the dugout. But the same drooling in the press box.

Hugh Keevins last night on Radio Clyde told us there was a ‘revolution’ going down Govan way. Portuguese, Mexicans and the odd Scot have all been brought into the new club.

Other than 35 year-old Alves, and Jack, the lad from Aberdeen, the others are known only to Pedro the manager. So by that single fact, we’ve to believe they, like those mentioned above, are going to take the Scottish game by storm.

Since there have been few Portuguese, with the exception of Jorge Cadete, who’ve played here, there’s little to suggest this will be a happy hunting ground for the Newco’s new players.

As for previous Mexicans to grace our game, Efrain Jaurez, lasted a few months, making just 13 appearances in the Hoops, hardly blazing a trail for fellow Mexicans.

But, you and a I know the drill, if they sign for the Ibrox mob, they must be good, until they’re found out…