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If you happen to see a newsflash about a circus missing some clowns, then point the Police in the direction of Dens Park Dundee first, then on to Ibrox in Glasgow.

On their first stop they’ll find big top performers Neil ‘EBT’ McCann, current manager of Dundee, and if he’s still hanging around via BT Sport, the original laughing clown himself Ally McCoist.

The last stop at Ibrox is self explanatory but we’ll cover that particular ‘entertainer’ later.

To justify their clown status we’ll start with the post match assumption of the Dee manager after Celtic thumped his side 4-0 in the BetFred Cup quarter-final on Wednesday night. McCann, without an ounce of irony stated ‘the match was never a 4-0 game’ adding the Hoops scored two goals after the 85th minute.

The relevance of the two late goals to add to an already comfortable 2-0 lead is of no consequence, but the tax cheat did fail to recognise his team, the home side in this fixture failed to register ONE SINGLE SHOT during the 90 minutes. Compare that to the Bhoys’ EIGHTEEN attempts on goal, and anyone with half a brain, something obviously missing from McCann, would see it was at least a 4-0 game.

Not to be outdone, clown number two, Ally McCoist, the first manager of Sevco and BT Sport pundit for the night, must have decided he’d take the heat off McCann by declaring Brendan won’t pick his Celtic side for tomorrow’s derby match until he knows about any Sevco injuries!

Yip, the manager of a side that’s now gone 56 domestic games undefeated, is going to wait until he find out if Pedro will play Bruno Alves or Declan John. Well, given his spectacular success as a manager, it would only be fair to listen to the laughing clown, just out of respect. (snigger)

Which moves us nicely on to the current incumbent of the manager seat at Ibrox, the bold Pedro.

Fresh from his side’s extra-time win over ninth placed Partick Thistle, the dog barking, caravan pulling gaffer threw another of his euphemisms for us to savour. This time liking the players to the ‘batteries of the rabbits from the adverts’, with obvious reference to the Duracell bunnies.

He then followed up his slavering at yesterday’s press conference with some nonsense about Brendan playing four at the back shows the same respect we gave PSG, but if he goes with three he doesn’t. Or something like that.

It goes without saying, who ever taught Pedro Caixinha to speak English is due him a refund. His command of the language is the stuff of cartoons. But credit to him in one respect, he knows how to do what Jim Traynor tells him..

So maybe he’s not as daft as he acts….