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Teflon Dave And His SMSM Neuralyser..

Teflon Dave And His SMSM Neuralyser..

If you’ve watched any of the Men in Black films you’ll be familiar with a wee device Tommy Lee Jones and Will Smith use called a ‘Neuralyser’, a small pen like device they use to wipe the memory of anyone who came in contact with them.

This erases anything that can be used against the MIB, a sort of safety valve.

I’m convinced the glib and shameless liar that is Dave King, the man Gullibears have put their trust in, has one of these devices and uses it on the SMSM.

The minute ‘Teflon Dave’ touches down on these shores, the succulent lamb brigade bow and prepare themselves to follow orders. If anyone dare question King about his previous convictions, or his investment boasts or anything at all he doesn’t like, the criminal chairman brings out his very own Neuralyser and zaps the offending hack.

This is the only explanation for the way the SMSM treat him. He’s lorded by the media as if he’s some sort of saviour, a Messiah type figure, who can spout as much shite as he likes, knowing it’ll be treated like a prophecy.

His latest trick is t produce fag packet accounts, that in reality show a loss, but are somehow reported by the obedient laptop loyal as showing a profit.

Ordinary folks can see the rouse, but his target audience, the Gullibears can’t. They hang on his every word. Teflon is back in town and he wants their money.

While March is traditionally lambing season, down Ibrox way, it’s more like fleecing season…





It’s Not Just Ability That Keeps Celtic’s Unbeaten Run Going..

It’s Not Just Ability That Keeps Celtic’s Unbeaten Run Going..

Despite what new Sevco boss Pedro says, Brendan Rodgers has the best squad in Scotland, and the gap of 25 points his Bhoys have over nearest rivals Aberdeen, with Pedro’s team a further 8 points behind, is proof of that.

Players like captain Scott Brown, Moussa Dembele, Stuart Armstrong, Kieran Tierney and Scott Sinclair, to name but a few, are all having fantastic seasons, meaning there is no other team in the land that can touch us.

And it’s entirely possible that the Hoops could go a full domestic season unbeaten, with only a handful of games left.

But it’s not just ability Celtic have in abundance. It’s discipline too.

From the start of the campaign, you could almost say from the minute John Beaton gave Hearts a phantom penalty at Tynecastle, the Bhoys have had to put up with more than their far share of nonsense.

Ridiculous refereeing decisions along with some brutal tackling, almost week in, week out, have tested the discipline of the players who to be fair have kept a lid n their emotions, particularly with so much at stake.

There’s no doubt Brendan Rodgers’ temperament has had a massive influence over how the Bhoys react. It’s very seldom, if ever, d you see Brendan lose his composure.

So, while ability counts, keeping the heid does too…



Playing In Scotland Is NOT Detrimental To International Ambitions..

Playing In Scotland Is NOT Detrimental To International Ambitions..

As one of the few Celtic players not away on international duty, Scott Sinclair was asked at yesterday’s press conference, if he still had any aspirations to represent England at full international level again.

Scott of course answered yes, and hinted that he didn’t see playing in Scotland for Celtic would be a hurdle, considering the Bhoys, with Scott in the team, have played at Champions League football anyway.

His opinion confirms the notion that playing your football in this country harms any chances of being picked for your country, as absolute nonsense.

As I listened to one of the radio phone-ins last night, one of the callers slated the standard of our game, without even considering how many players we have away representing their respective nations.

A case in point is the call up of centre-back Dedryck Boyata. The big fella hardly kicked a ball during the first half of this season but since the winter break has been an ever present. His form has resulted in a call-up to the Belgian squad by manager Roberto Martinez.

And that’s without playing any European football.

And today, Real Madrid boss Zinedine Zidane, close friend of France’s international manager Didier Deschamps has told our young French hit man Moussa Dembele, to bide his time, a full international cap will be his sooner than later.

While the knockers claim our game isn’t doing so well, if that was a fact, then Scott Sinclair would have a lot more company at Lennoxtown this week…

Time To Cut The Bhoys Some Slack…

Time To Cut The Bhoys Some Slack…

This slump of 36 domestic games unbeaten is really beginning to take it’s toll, not only on the players but on the fans too.

As the SMSM keep telling us, the Bhoys are looking tired and jaded, and to be fair they’ve not been firing on all cylinders recently, especially in the 1-1 loss at home to Sevco, the fans are reflecting what’s happening on the park.

We’re getting frustrated and a bit tired and jaded!

And just to put things into perspective, let’s look at the performances since the return from the winter break.

Teams aren’t going to let us play and will be ‘in our faces’ as much as possible. That’s something we have to live with, as long as they do it within the rules. But that’s NOT happening.

Sure we’re playing round or through our opponents and taking the points in nearly ever game, but our opponents are going that step further and using tactics that can only be described as brutal at time, with what appears to be the blessing of the officials.

That in turn leads to a break in play more often than not, hence the play isn’t as fluid and more passes are misplaced.

We, then in turn start to get anxious and this transfers onto the park. Indirectly, this only serves to help our opponents.

What’s needed, in my opinion, is to cut the Bhoys some slack. We’re in a history making run of unbeaten games, we’re in the hunt for a domestic treble in Brendan’s first season, and off the park, the club are in a league of our own.

Let’s just keep the faith…


Has Brendan Received His Phone Calls Yet?

Has Brendan Received His Phone Calls Yet?

It’s six weeks since Celtic were awarded a ‘phantom’ penalty at McDairmid Park in our 5-2 win when the ball was judged to have hit the hand of a Saints defender.

Referee Craig Thomson saw something no one else in the ground saw and pointed to the spot. The score at the time was 2-1 to the home side, but parity was restored when Moussa Dembele planted the ball behind Clark in the St Johnstone goal.

To be fair, very few Celtic players claimed for the penalty. It did however put the Bhoys back on even terms and give us a platform to go on to a convincing win.

The penalty award incensed the Saints manager Tommy Wright. He went ballistic during and after the game, so much so the day after referee Thomson called the Perth side manager to apologise.

At this point I’d like to point out the same Tommy Wright wasn’t so vocal when Celtic were denied a penalty in the same fixture earlier this season* after Leigh Griffiths was felled by Richard Foster in the box, resulting in a booking for the Hoops striker.

Again the press had a field day, somehow blaming Celtic for Thomson’s mistake, yet they conveniently forgot the whistler’s gaff in the semi-final of the League Cup when he wrongly chopped off Erik Sviatchenko’s header.

Craig Thomson didn’t have the courtesy of phoning Brendan Rodgers the day after that. Nor did Kevin Clancy after he allowed Ian Vigurs of ICT to almost maim Scott Sinclair in the Scottish Cup tie at Celtic Park.

In fact, the referees in the following games Don Robertson against Motherwell and Crawford Allan against Hamilton both had shockers but didn’t bother apologising to our manager.

In the last two weeks, Bobby Madden and Willie Collum’s names should be added to the list of incompetent officials who allow Celtic opponents a free rein to kick, pull and wrestle our players whenever they see fit.

There’s no doubt the managers of our opponents are instructing their players to use as heavy handed tactics as they see fit, without fear of reprisal. It seems to be the only way they think they can stop us on our unbeaten domestic run.

Without success I must add.

What is concerning is the acceptance by the SMSM, the officials and our opposing managers that kicking ten shades of shit out of our players is the only way to stop us. I really fear for our players well being.

*the same game Craig Thomson kicked off early as a protest to BT SPort after Chris Sutton had criticised his performance in the Dundee v Sevco game the week before, calling him a ‘bottler’ when he failed to send off Forrester after two atrocious tackles.

Why Doesn’t Brendan Just Play The Kids?

Why Doesn’t Brendan Just Play The Kids?

That ludicrous statement was part of an article by Gordon Parks in yesterday’s Sunday Mail, an article that could quite easily have had the headline ‘it’s no fair!’!

Parks starts off his piece with a derogatory jibe at Celtic manager Brendan Rodgers by alluding to his lack of trophy success, although he doesn’t mention his one out of one, and soon to be two out of two radio in Scotland.

This hack obviously has a bug to bear, which becomes more evident as the article moves on.

His assumption that Brendan, who’s been in the game and managed at a higher level longer than anyone else in this country, should stop asking the players who have played most in our 36 games unbeaten domestic run, and start playing kids like Jack Aitchison.

In other words, drop Broonie, Sinky and Moussa to play the youngsters.


Well, according to Parks, this unbeaten run is becoming an obsession of Brendan’s and it’s just not fair that Celtic keep winning all these games. In an effort to cover his tracks he reckons the gaffer should bedding these young players for the Champions League qualifiers!

As if Brendan is going to go into the qualifiers with a bunch of kids!

In the interest of balance, Parks could have suggested Sevco new manager Pedro, do the same, as he is only trying to gain second place in the league and surely by bedding HIS youngsters in would set them up for the new season?

Of course he didn’t his sole intention was an attack on our club and manager.

I hope he’s man enough to ask Brendan the same questions when he next attends a presser at Celtic Park…



Callum, The Unlikely Centurion..

Callum, The Unlikely Centurion..

The next time Callum McGregor pulls on the Hoops, it will mark his 100th appearance for the Bhoys, a feat most would have considered unlikely just a few seasons ago.

As a teenager, the Celtic manager at the time Neil Lennon, decided young Callum needed games and sent the Bhoy out on loan to Notts County. McGregor took the bull by the horns and proved a real success with the League One side, scoring twelve goals in only thirty-seven appearances.

When Callum returned to Celtic Park, it was to play under a new manager, Ronny Deila.

Ronny saw enough in Callum to give him his first team debut in a Champions League qualifier against Icelandic side KR Reykjavik, where he scored Celtic’s only goal.

Young McGregor did really well that season for the Hoops, particularly in Europe where he scored against Legia and Maribor, both away from home. Something more established players have failed to do over the years.

However, Callum suffered a freak training ground accident and he missed the last few weeks of that season.

With a change once again at  the top, Callum found he had to start all over again and impress new gaffer Brendan Rodgers, something he seems to have achieved considering the amount of game time he gets.

Often a target for the boo Bhoys, Callum has stuck to his task well, and now in his FOURTEENTH year at the club, having joined as a nine year old, will become a member of the 100 club sooner than later.

Well done son, you’ve shown great resolve and deserve your accolade.


Pedro, Already The SMSM’s Manager of the Month..

Pedro, Already The SMSM’s Manager of the Month..

They never fail. And we’ve seen it all before. Since Sevco managed to steal a point at Celtic Park, all we’ve heard about is how their season has turned around, and with a new manager, they could finish on a high.

Currently 33 points adrift of Champions Celtic, and trailing Aberdeen in second by eight points, the wonderful SMSM would have you believe the new man Pedro will work wonders with a squad that a even a guy with a magic hat couldn’t get to compete.

Among the Portuguese traits, who only a few weeks ago was an unknown, is his excellent command of the English language*. And to be fair, he does speak well, especially compared to the Real Rangers Men who rivaled him for the post, Barry Ferguson, Alex Rae, John Brown and Alex McLeish!

His Wikepedia like knowledge of Hamilton Accies and Alex Crawford in particular, had the Laptop Loyal drooling about his thorough he is, unlike that bad Mark Warburton. If only the same SMSM had used Google when Craig Whyte was marching down the Copeland Road….

Anyway, the Pedro Revolution is in full swing.

Second in the league with the Scottish Cup in the bag, after they dispose of Celtic in the semi-final,  will see the Gullibears flogging their weans to buy season tickets.

Or maybe not. Reality will see them lucky to stay in third place, and a defeat at the hands of the Treble chasing Celts will bring poor puppet Pedro crashing back down to earth.

Still, he’ll have this month’s Manager of the Month award to look back on. His name is being inscribed on it as wee speak..

*Ronny Deila spoke good English but was never praise for it. And don’t let them compare Ronny and Pedro’s managerial record. Ronny came to Celtic as a league winner in Norway taking Stromgodset into the Champions League. Pedro on the other hand was out of contract in a few weeks having taken his team to FIFTH in the Quatari League.

SMSM issued new press passes this week..

I Give You Sevco/The Rangers, The Frankenstein of Scottish Football.

I Give You Sevco/The Rangers, The Frankenstein of Scottish Football.

Monsters, just like the one in Mary Shelley’s novel Frankenstein are usually created with the body parts of one or many former beings. Quite often they are gruesome and unpleasant on purpose, therefore they become somewhat menacing.

And Sevco/The Rangers are no different.

Despite the protestations of many lamb munchers in the SMSM and the rank and file Gullibears, the team that plays out of Ibrox are not the same as the one originally created in 1872. They died in 2012, and yesterday, just to put the final ‘nail in the coffin’, Lord Bannatyne said as much when he gave his verdict on the Coral v Kinloch case.

This court case came about after a mug punter, Mr Kinloch, with an element of inside knowledge bet Rangers (IL) would be relegated in 2012. He claimed that’s what happened when the new club were allowed entry to Division Three, and wanted his £250,000 payout.

Coral Bookmakers, of course disagreed and the case went to court.

Unlike previous court cases, in particular the sham that was the Lord Nimmo Smith inquiry, Lord Bannatyne was in possession of the full facts for this case.

His summation of what actually happened is below…

What you can gather from the Judge’s words is that Rangers (IL) were neither relegated or demoted as the SMSM would have you believe. They are a new club (Sevco/Rangers), put together with the body parts of Oldco Rangers, some players, the stadium, the colours, and more importantly the gullible fans who will believe the earth is flat if it suits them.

This Frankenstein like creation came about courtesy of the secret five-way agreement, involving RFC, SPL, SFL, SFA & Sevco, allowing the new monster entry into the third division without needing the regular qualifying criteria, like three years accounts.

It started of as a basket case and has continued to do so throughout it’s five-year existence, living month to month on emergency loans. The club continues to be a blight on our game, spending most of it’s time in dispute with broadcasters, authorities, both football and legal, while looking to operate under different rules from everyone else.

Maybe it’s time Dr Frankenstein returned to exterminate the monster and do us all a favour..

When Prejudice Clouds Professional Judgement…

When Prejudice Clouds Professional Judgement…

The game of football has rules, and these rules are supposed to apply equally to all teams and clubs participating in teh sport.

So when a player is fouled by another for example, then regardless of what team the offender plays for, it’s a foul. Not for some obscure reason the officials may not see it at the time, therefore a foul isn’t given.

However, the same doesn’t apply to pundits and journalists, who have the benefit of replays and time to call the incident according to the rules. Seems fair enough?

But in Scotland, there is a real problem with this simple analogy.

Most, and I mean most, pundits and hacks cannot separate their professionalism from their blind faith in the team they support. So, when for instance, Kenny Miller makes a two footed lunge, Roger Hannah on Clyde SSB thinks it’s just a yellow card. The reason? Because it’s in the 5th minute, although he admitted its a sending-off if it’s in the 85th minute!

That supposition is nearly as bad as EBT recipient Steven Thompson on the BBC Sportscene programme, when he reckoned Clint Hill’s waist height assault in the last minute on Leigh Griffiths was ‘just a wee foul‘.

Not the sharpest tool in the box, Thompson gave the game away with admitting it was a foul, hence a penalty and sending off, as Hill was already booked, basically saying it’s against my former team so, the rules don’t apply.

‘The rules don’t apply’ seems to be a recurring theme were the team from Ibrox are concerned. And the media men don’t care how biased or unprofessional they look.